Life’s a gift but here’s the catch

I have been sitting deciding what to write this blog about, so much has changed lately it’s difficult to know where to start.

Big things happen in our lives, these things can change our direction all together and can certainly change our life purpose. Life has its way with us and at times can knock us to our knees. Some events are so huge, humbling and life changing that we will never be the same again.

I think our life purpose is forever changing and that life itself is more about the journey, what we do to grow and develop along the way, than the destination.

We get so wrapped up in focusing on the destination, that sometimes we forget what our journey is for and how it is serving us. We need to have a good look at the journey we are on and be willing to make a few detours if it’s not working, especially if we are putting ourselves through a horrible existence just to get to a far off destination.

Everyone experiences life changing events, some of these are voluntary while others are not. I like to describe these huge events as lifequakes as they take us by surprise, shake us up and spit us out on the other side. There is a process we must go through and often these lifequakes can lead to amazing transformation. 

We will experience an event that disrupts our life every twelve to eighteen months. One in ten of these events will likely act as a lifequake, that it will give us the opportunity to rewrite our life purpose or in some way reinvent ourselves. We will each experience this three to five times in our lives and it can take us around five years to transition. That’s a lot of time spent changing so I’ve found its best to go with the flow as the end target is ever changing.

The event could be personal such as losing a job, living with a diagnosis or deciding to leave a partner. Or it can be a collective involuntary event like a natural disaster or a pandemic. This current pandemic has acted at a spring board for us to all to meet as humans become connected. We have realised that we are not in control. None of us could have imagined the the whole world would be collectively quarantined and that we would be getting told how to move, live and work as we are right now.

We are all learning new ways to connect, communicate, work and learn. Now is the time to adapt and evolve to become the best version of ourselves in this ever changing world.

This pandemic has been a lifequake for the whole world but our personal changes are only just beginning to happen. How many of us are asking if we are in the right job, are we living in the right place with the right people or in the right relationship?

It’s really important that we acknowledge our internal feelings because these will be manifested in our lives as a direct consequence of our thinking patterns and beliefs. Thoughts of anger, frustration, fear, worry, upset not only upset us internally they perpetuate what is going on outside in the world.

Next time you lose your temper with someone, ask yourself what it was really about. Are you having an internal temper tantrum, does it start and end with you? Everyone we meet has been placed there to show you something, illuminate the areas that need healing, forgiving or uprooting.

So we can now use this crisis as a wake up call. It has interrupted our patterns of behaviour and has created time for us to look at the bigger picture, rise above the noise in the media and look for true meaning in our lives. It’s time to listen to the inner voice, to quieten our minds and tune into our inner most wisdom which always knows what is best for us deep down.

For these transitions to work, they need to be voluntary and there are certain phases we need to go through.

First, the long goodbye, that period when you know something isn’t right but you’re too stuck to do anything about it. Then eventually, you realise that something has to change. It’s like when you really dislike your job and you keep looking a the pros and cons of whether to stay or go. But once you decide to go, it’s as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders as the decision is made and you can begin to move forwards and make plans.

Then there is the difficult part of actually taking action, the messy middle part where you shed old habits and begin to create new ones. The emotions that surround your decisions need some attention: fear, shame, panic, uncertainty, worry, sadness. The key here is to identify the emotion attached and accept it as part of the process you are in. All emotions are valid and with consideration this can help you to move through it.

Perhaps you can write things down, your fears for example and see how big they really are. This can give you more courage to stick with your decision.

You know that every fairy tale has a part that’s messy in the middle, a part where all seems lost, there is concern and fear but the journey is always a worth while. You sure as hell know that you don’t want to be back where you started, so the most positive option is to keep going on your journey of transformation.

Then finally, the big reveal, where you unveil your new self.

Remember, if we spend 25 years or so of our lives in transition then we need to see is time as an opportunity rather than time to press pause and waste. These are our opportunities to really find out what gives us meaning in life, and how we can bring that meaning into our everyday.

We all know nothing is permanent except the energy that flows through everything that exists. Even amongst this current chaos and unrest, the birds keep chirping, the moon moves the sea and the sun keeps rising. All of this existence happens without our input. This invisible force connects us and will continue to do so no matter what we do. May we always be grateful for the air we breathe, our beating hearts and this very moment… the gift of life.